


Tea and Talk

by TwoMoonsLite



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Amnesia, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, adultstuck au, dave blabs to rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 16:33:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7515278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoMoonsLite/pseuds/TwoMoonsLite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave always talks to Rose when she's drinking her tea. Never before, never after. He talks about alternate universes, trolls, and romance. She thinks he might have lost it, until an invading army forces Dave's ramblings to make more sense. And Rose just sips her tea. Adultstuck au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I adopted this AU from egossweetart on Tumblr (bless thee) and I tried to do the best I could. He has more info on the AU on his blog, as well as a full fic in the works (i believe).  
> I hope I did justice.

Rose blinked at her brother over her cup. “Trolls?”

“Yes, Rose, trolls. Grey and shit with horns and a whole bunch of fucking issues like holy fuck rose their relationships were so damn complicated and just fuck I think I was dating one? Like what the fuck Rose, that shit was so fucked up.”

“Uh. Huh.” Rose sipped on her tea. Her brother might have lost it. Maybe she ought to get him a boyfriend. Obviously, raising her nephew was taking a toll on him.

While she pondered her brother’s mental state, Dave flung his hands about, still droning on about this supposed other timeline where they had played some sort of extra-dimensional video game. Personally, Rose was seriously considering having Dave discreetly committed, but then she would have to squish Dirk into an already crowded apartment with the rest of them. And the family’s income from Dave’s shitty comics and movies would disappear, so maybe it was best to keep him with them.

“And I’m telling you Rose, it was terrible but also great, and there was this guy named the Mayor, hoo boy, everybody loved that guy.”

“Mmhmm,” offered Rose. Maybe Dave had gone off the deep end? But then again, her brother was never this creative. And he was certainly not this enthusiastic about revealing his homosexuality to her a few months ago.

When Dave dove into the culture of the troll world, however, Rose listened. When he went off on his other self’s alien boyfriend, she listened. When he went off about her alien girlfriend, she listened intently. That’s all Rose did. Listen.

Until the sky broke open and the aliens poured forth out of the special void.

Then Dave wasn’t so crazy.


	2. Two

It should have been a raid of little consequence. Jade had done them hundreds of times before, thousands maybe. She was just supposed to release the prisoners.

Instead, she brought back an alien.

A dirty, bloody alien. A troll. The commander of the troll rebellion, if his outrageously loud shouting was to be believed.

And, unfortunately, he happened to be Dave’s alien.

“Oh my god, Rose, he’s here. He’s really here, he exists, oh my fucking god,” Dave looked at her with wide red eyes from the table across the room.

Rose sighed, taking a bright blue mug down from the cabinet and another tea bag from the box. She placed them both on the counter, next to her rainbow mosaic one. She _click-click-_ clicked the stove into ignition and set to boiling the water. Dave talked on. Rose made encouraging noises.

“Dave, you know he doesn’t remember you, correct?”

“Huh?” he stopped mid-word. “Of course he does, sis, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dave,” the kettle whistled, and she got up and poured it into the two glasses. “You only remember him because of your, what was it? God status?”

“God tier.”

“Yes, that’s it,” she carried the cups over, offering one to him. “Your god tier powers are why you remember all of those alternate timelines. He wasn’t, so he won’t remember.”

Dave looked down into his mug, eyes invisible behind his aviators. “Oh.”

Reaching across the small table, Rose took her brother’s hand, causing them both to look at the slight difference between their skins. His was just a shade darker. “Dave,” she started.

A loud crash startled them both, smaller thuds signaling that the moment had passed, and someone, a very angry someone, was on their way. Dave slouched in his chair, withdrawing his hand and closing it around his mug.

The alien charged into the room. “Your fucking Earth technology is awful. And your body cleaning supplies smell horrid.” His untamed hair hung in limp curls around his face. He frowned at the two, taking them both in, and opened his mouth.

“Karkat!” Jade walked around the corner, all smiles and good times. “He means the shower was great, and thank you.” She giggled and pushed him back out of the room, hands on either side of a particularly shaped scar Rose remembered cleaning hours beforehand.

“You are welcome, Karkat,” Rose offered, “Feel free to use it as you please.”

Dave stared, and said nothing.

On his way out, Karkat mumbled, “Fucking humans.”

After he was out of earshot, Dave put his hands to his face. “Oh my god, was he shirtless?”

“Yes, Dave,” Rose sipped her tea.

“Oh fuck, oh shitting fuck. Rose, I’m gay.”

“Yes, Dave, we’ve been over this,” She raised an eyebrow over her mug.

“No, seriously, Rose, for real I’m totally fucking gay for alien dick.”

“I’m aware, David.”

He looked hopelessly at her. “What do I do?”

“You tell me. You dated him.”

“Ugh,” the impact of his head shook the table, spilling some of Dave’s tea.

Rose patted her brother’s head. “There, there.”


	3. Three

After a few weeks harboring the fugitive Karkat, Rose was sincerely doubting she would ever get to drink her tea in peace again. Every time the troll did what seemed to be anything, Dave would come and whine at her about his lackluster relationship with the male.

This time, however, Rose was sure she would have been safe to drink in peace. Her daughter Roxy (who had taken a huge liking to Karkat) was occupying both herself and the troll by braiding his long locks. She thought she was safe to enjoy her chamomile without Dave.

Then Roxy and Jade had marched Karkat through the apartment, showing off their handiwork and his new plait, strung through with red flowers.

Dave crawled to her side after they had all left, Roxy loudly insisting that Jade was next.

“Rose.”

“Yes, Dave?”

He dramatically fell to his knees, pawing at her as she uninterestedly sipped her tea. “Rose, how can he be hotter fully clothed???”

“I have no idea.”

“I wanna die, Rose,” he whined, falling to the floor.

Rose stepped away from her brother’s clutches. Making her way into the other room, she called back, “Perhaps you should think about passing in a more secluded and not as trafficked area.”

Her brother’s groans were the only answer.

Rose sighed. Those two could not get together soon enough. Then she could drink her tea in peace, without Dave’s whining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it folks! I didn't want to step too much on egossweetart's toes and story, so its just little one-shot... things. Anywho, go check out his art, it's amazing, and I love it. Bless y'all.


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